Mourning the loss of Eurovision

Last night was Eurovision, an event that I somewhat predictably love. Well, I used to love it but now it’s become a farce. The UK’s entry was a cheesy novelty thing that really didn’t deserve to win. When will the UK realise that uber-camp novelty acts don’t actually win very often? Or if they do, it’s because the camp stuff is a veneer on top of a decent song?

Bad song or great song though, the UK had no chance whatever of winning because:

• Most European countries think we’re the USA’s lackey, so they don’t vote for us because they hate us.
• The contest is now dominated so much by Eastern European countries that en bloc don’t like the West. So although we invented it and pay for the bloody thing, they screw us over every year. Watching it last night, I was able to predict the scores from every country with almost total accuracy. This skill rather spooked the other people at the Eurovision party I was at, but it is entirely explained by the fact that years of working in Eastern Europe means I know which countries border which. FYR Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia (whose name I sneer and laugh at, incidentally) were always going to give marks to Serbia, etc, etc. These countries are a joke: if they’re not shooting each other’s sister, they’re making a big show of supposed Slavic unity.

Almost straight after, I noticed this viewer feedback on the BBC website:

None of the Big Four [the four permanently-placed members of the EBU - France, Germany, the UK and Spain due to their immense financial contribution] have won since we did in 1997. If these four nations boycott Eurovision, it couldn't happen happen (sic), and we could laugh at the Balkan Bloc, the Russian Bloc, the Nordic Bloc and the Greek/Turkish Bloc not being able to exercise (sic) their ridiculous voting power.

Ban the Yugoslavian Bloc until they grow up, or just leave the EBU.

Hahaha.

Hugh Morley, Ashford, United Kingdom

Well said, Hugh.

Apparently, some academic insists that politics aren’t a factor in Eurovision voting. This also reminds me how full of crap and disconnected from self-evident truth academics are wont to be. See the story here.

I think we should stop paying for Eurovision in its current ludicrous form and launch “Eurovision classic”, with the states with a clear record of voting for each other excluded. If France, the UK, Germany and Spain actually have some chance of winning, they might even enter decent songs. Until then, I think I’ll stop watching it.